if you like me you must not know who I am
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
