We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
