It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
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