There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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