Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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