woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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