Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Quick, to the slutcave!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
