We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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