Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
