I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Alive.
So much puke
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
