waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Shame - the story of my life.
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