Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize