Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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