What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
