dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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