does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize