Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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