i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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