Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
