I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
