My Higher Power is John Stamos
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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