Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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