I'm gonna have a badass scar
wanna go halves on a baby?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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