i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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