I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
