I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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