It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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