You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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