RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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