I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize