I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
