after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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