Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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