how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
