um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
