Pappa wants mamma naked
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
