some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize