Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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