he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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