I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
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I will be naked everywhere
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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