Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
