Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
