jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
