maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
