My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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