I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
