I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
