Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
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Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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