then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
