Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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