didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
