Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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