Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize