farters have to be the big spoon...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
