I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
