real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
