This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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