apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
