How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
there is glitter all over my balls
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